Quiet of the night … I gather my thoughts

I love the quiet of the night when I sit in the living room all by myself.  Well, not quite quiet and not really by myself.  There’s the sound of the electric pump and the company of my beautiful cat.

Often times in those 15 minutes of expressing time, I sort out the thoughts in my head.  Now I’ve taken to writing them down as I pump.  So you are all witnessing my inner thoughts.  Haha.

I love my beautiful cat.  My furry child.  We spent a lot of time together before the arrival of her lil human brother.  So it must be very strange for her now that her human mommy doesn’t play with her so often anymore.  I don’t really know what it must be like for her.  But I feel sad.

I am one of those hygiene crazy mothers.  I call it part of the First Time Mom Syndrome.  I am forever washing my hands and sanitising my hands.  We have antibacterial hand wash and also hand sanitiser bottles on the bench, in the car, in the pram, in my bag.  Yes I am that crazy.  I am so paranoid about handling my baby when my hands are dirty.  Overkill right?  Yes indeed.

So I can no longer pat and cuddle my cat whenever I want.  Especially during the daytime when I have to look after the baby.  Or when I’m expressing milk.  Or in the middle of the night when I may have to comfort the baby when he wakes up in the middle of the night crying.  Oh my gosh …

I am sure I am being overly cautious.

The thing is, the baby and I have already been through a lot together.  I am just an overly protective mom and I know it.

I cried when I came home and saw my cat after so many days in the hospital.  I missed her and I dropped to the floor and sobbed.

She still, every now and then, jumps on the bed and sleeps at my feet as she always has.  When  I get up in the middle of the night to pump, sometimes she’d come into the living room with me and just sit next to me.  As she did when I used to stay up from insomnia during my pregnancy.

She is, after all, our first child.  It will be rather strange having to tell our lil boy his big sister is a cat 😉


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