Today I really feel like a failure

He won’t settle.

He won’t sleep.

He pushes me away … cuddles no longer work.

He fights me with everything … changing nappies is a nightmare.

He doesn’t even grin at me anymore as he used to when he wakes up.

He cries and screams so much, nothing I do can comfort him.

All this remind me of the difficult pregnancy.

All this remind me of the failed induction.

All this remind me of the failed natural birth.

That’s right, I can’t even do what a woman naturally is supposed to do.

I have failed.

I really hate my noisy neighbours

I live in an apartment complex where there’s common amenities like a garden in the middle, a pool, a sauna, gym, museum (it used to be a brewery).

There used to be a higher percentage of owner-occupier to rentals.  Now it’s the other way round.

Our upstairs neighbours like doing laundry at night … as in 11.30pm to 2.30am.  They also like dragging furniture at night too.  Whenever they put a wash on, the pipes rattle and our apartment shakes with banging noise of the pipes.

The neighbours downstairs like to slam doors … day and night.

Today they had an all day party taking over the whole garden and pool.  The pool shuts at 10pm so what do they do?  They moved the party into the apartment, out onto the balcony.

I am sleep deprived as it is with a difficult baby.  Tonight we have to deal with shouty footballer types shouting at the balcony and the neighbours slamming doors.

I hate my neighbours.  I really really do.