He won’t settle.
He won’t sleep.
He pushes me away … cuddles no longer work.
He fights me with everything … changing nappies is a nightmare.
He doesn’t even grin at me anymore as he used to when he wakes up.
He cries and screams so much, nothing I do can comfort him.
All this remind me of the difficult pregnancy.
All this remind me of the failed induction.
All this remind me of the failed natural birth.
That’s right, I can’t even do what a woman naturally is supposed to do.
I have failed.